R.I.P. Tim Ryan

R.I.P. Tim Ryan
I remember the first time I was introduced to Tim.  I think it was his smile that made the memory stick.

Tim was bright, and he was one of the orignal hackers.  He cut his teeth on the BBC micro-computer.  I learnt that he wrote a text editor for that computer which he sold world-wide.

When DOS was still King, I spent a period of my life doing nothing but programming.  My dream was to be a game programmer, and so I learnt C and Intel assembler.  I sat up though the early hours of most nights writing and debugging code.  I had to force myself to eat.  I would go out for the occassional run to stay fit, and in my head I was still solving problems.  I normaly couldn't wait to get back in front of the computer so I could try out my new ideas.  Turbo debugger was my best friend.

I remember very proudly showing Tim a demo of my first (and only) game.  It was a 2-dimensional vertical scrolling shootem-up that I called Zaquinox.  I did everything for this game: I wrote the Music; did the Art; Designed the levels (and the level editor) and one day I smuggled a copy of the game into work; installed it on my PC, and showed it to Tim.  It meant a great deal to me, because everyone knew Tim was a great software engineer -and now Tim knew that I was too.  There was nothing to prove anymore.

So the years went by and we worked for the same companies, but often at different times, and I saw him briefly a month or so ago (on the Plimmer steps).  He seemed happy, if pre-occupied.  He still had the same warm smile.

But behind the smile I did not know he had suffered depression all his life  -and so it was a shock when I learned he had taken his life.  His funeral was today, and I learnt alot about Tim that I did not know before.  the most important thing I learnt is that a lot of people loved him.

I always saw something of myself in Tim, he was a friend, the heavy heart tells me so.  There was an odd, if loose connection.  The last of them being that he grew up in Wainui, the same place I chose to call home.  This is me saying goodbye Tim, but I'll remember you often -I'll remember your smile.